The Hubby Hubster has been ill the last few days, and so I've been spending a lot of tme at home tending to him.  My husband has been my muse for the last 6 years, even in ill health.  I've been crafting like a fiend.

Inspired by my husband's flu symptoms I give you: Indigestion

And this magic elixir from which he sips all day long is entitled:

The Virgin Lemon Tea of Hamiltonia

And last but not least, an Easter egg pot holder I made for a friend of mine out of the pattern in the latest Crochet World magazine.  (I didnt want to overwork my muse.)

This morning was one of those mornings where I get up waaaayyy too early and wind up watching music videos.  They're one of my few vices, music videos.  I know they rot my brains, but for some reason the worse they are, the more compelled I am to watch.  This morning I was mesmerized by the Pussycat Dolls in a video called "Wait a Minute". 

What most intrigued me was the end of the video, because all thirteen or so of the pussycats have climbed aboard a car and are grinding and dancing on the hood and windshield.  What was most interesting about this is that it brought to mind an African Safari park a friend had told me about.  Apparently the baboons come out of nowhere, sit their baboony bottoms all over your windscreen and basically smear ass all over your car.  My mind being what it is, I was imagining the dolls as baboons and thought it would be really funny if they'd tried to start pulling off the windscreen wipers and chewing on them seductively.  They  were already busily smearing their bottoms all over the place, and really chewing on the wipers was the logical next step.

And note the close resemblance here (it's in the eyes):

Here's a little mat I crocheted up to cover my mediation area.  I rather like it, and have actually considered making a much bigger one to cover my floor with.  Only I haven't the patience or time for a big project so this'll have to do for now.

Well, it goes to show just how much of an influence this yoga lady had on me.  This was drawn in honour of her technicolor splash pants.  Let's hear it for crazy yoga outfits!

My first introduction to yoga was in the form of a video tape my mother had given to me on my 22nd birthday.  No, my mother isn't cruel, I had actually requested this video as a gift. 

Wrapped in a lovely flowered paper, I excitedly tore the packaging open to find myself staring into the eyes of a seemingly serene woman on the front cover.  A seemingly serene woman with her leg raised quite high.  In fact, this woman's leg was raised far above her head and the expression on her face was perhaps not so much serene, but a trifle bored. 

I gulped.  I could barely bend over to get my shoes tied on the best of days, I sincerely doubted I could ever get my leg over my head.  I tried the video a few times, and it did have some great basics for beginners but I just wasn't feeling it.  It seemed to lack something, and I just couldn't figure out what it was.  Disappointed, it sat on my shelves for years collecting dust.

Several lapsed attempts at improving my health later, I pulled the tape out again out of curiosity and started doing it again.  Gradually, I grew accustomed to the different poses and I certainly felt so much more energized at the end of the video.  But again, it felt like something was lacking.  It was then that I realized that visually, the program just wasn't appealing to me.  The people in the background doing the poses were all quite beautiful and they all sort of looked like escapees from a modern dance troupe.  They dressed in dark leotards and held very serious facial expressions as they stretched and contorted.  I oftentimes wanted to giggle at just how important they made doing yoga seem.

It was destiny that had me flip through the channels one sleepless early morning (it was 3AM and I just couldn't get back to sleep) and I came across yet another yoga guru.  I watched her for a while, and realized that she was not just trying to get people to connect with their bodies, but with their inner spirit as well.  I was entranced, and it wasn't due to sleep deprivation either.  So, I recorded as many of her programs as possible and started practicing yoga each morning with her in earnest.  Sure, aspects of the show were a little corny, like at the end when she plays some far-out music and encourages me to contemplate her face superimposed over a mountainside as a mediation method or how she wears lime green full-body windbreaker outfits that are usually found on 70 year old mall walkers but it's these things that make the program special for me.  I guess the kitsch-factor just made it feel more homey to me.

Now I'm on my fourth week of my new program, and I'm really noticing the difference in me.  People keep remarking that I look much taller or that I'm less sloucy and I owe this all to my fluorescently-adjusted yoga guru.  I'm going to have to look up the PBS website and find a way to contact this woman because I owe her a debt of gratitude for making yoga finally appealing to me.  In fact, in her honour I'm going out today to get myself a full-body windbreaker outfit and I'm going to wear it proudly each morning as I bend and stretch my way through my routine.

Having made as many changes as I have, I thought I would try out a few weeks of a holistic nutritionist's food plan.  8 weeks of detoxifying foods, so nutritious your brain could explode at the thought of it. The Hubbarino is a very good sport, I have to admit.  Since the beginning of my food-change journey, he's been subjected to a lot of semi-scientific experiments in my kitchen.  He's also a human trash compactor and will eat just about anything.  So, imagine my surprise when I got home and asked him if he enjoyed the holistic, organic lunch I'd provided for him yesterday and he wrinkled his face up and said,

"Well, I only ate some of it.  Actually, I only ate the soup.  I tried a mouth full of the carrot salad but didn't finish it.  There's lots left for you though!"

"What about the bean dip?  I thought you'd like that."

"Erm, there's lots left for you!"

"I see.   Well, was there anything you really liked?  Maybe I could just cook the things you enjoyed."

There was a deep silence.  A very deep and thoughtful silence.

"Anything?  Anything at all?"

And all at once, my usually sweet, low-key and easygoing husband started to twitch and turned a funny shade of purple.  He took a deep breath and said,

"What is it with this plan and the carrots!!  There's carrots in everything!  Does this woman belong to some sort of root vegetable association?  The National Board of Carrots?  The Great and Secret Order of all Things Orange and Hideous???  And why are we only seasoning a carrot salad with...lemon juice???  Isn't eating carrot salad bad enough on it's own???  Who thinks to themselves yum, carrots AND lemon juice, life can't get any better???  What's for dinner tomorrow?  And for tonight for that matter?"

Taken aback I stammered,

"A...erm...steamed vegetables, baked potato and the bean dip."

"Please tell me there's going to be some meat somewhere along the line.  Please, Missus.  I miss your cooking, I miss your yummy foods...I miss SEASONINGS!!"

Well, my old heart just about broke then.  That's when I decided for the sake of my poor beleaguered husband who has endured Lentil Surprise, Rice Cake Supreme and Carrot Salad that I would cease and desist with the holistic diet.  It only lasted a day, but it nearly killed his spirit.  So last night with his baked potato he got himself some sausages and after dinner a nice cup of Earl Grey tea with a bran biscuit.  Me, I had some Carrot Salad, goddammit.  At least it's gone, never to return again.

This is my newest completed thingy.  I'm finally able to get back to making things, albeit slowly.  Unfortunately this hat was requested of me sometime back in October...hrm.  Luckily the person who asked for it is sweet natured and hasn't minded waiting in spite of the crazy insane winter we're having.  

So here I am in all my glory posing in my crazy Pepto-painted kitchen.  I have to further add that the rather loud safari animal curtain in my window is another of my crazy creations.

Okay, so it's not complete in the sense that my threads aren't tucked in properly but it's still a pretty funky blanket none the less.  My friend's cats seem to dig it.

You may be wondering to yourself why I'm posting at four in the morning.  Folks, I've been doing my best to wish for snow because you see, my boss may just be calling a snow day this morning.  In fact, I've been up and down all night to check out  my windows to verify that it is indeed still snowing like a mofo out there, and thank heavens it is!!!  I needs me a snow day!!  BRING IT OOONNNNNN!  Seriously.  The Hub and I have recently undertaken some very serious-type immigration paperwork, which finally was mailed out the day before yesterday.  I'm mentally and emotionally exhausted from it.  (Immigration paperwork is soul-sucking, believe me.)  I'm also just a few double crochets away from completing a throw I started before Christmas.  So you see, this snow day is ESSENTIAL to my survival and well being. I'm also further hoping they cancel the bus services because it gives me an excuse not to go anywhere today.  GO SNOW!!!

I do feel sorry for the Hub however, because it's literally been two weeks since he's been prepared to set foot outside.  He's been here for five years, and I don't think he's ever become accustomed to our cold.  He shivers like a snake on caffeine pills even when bundled up.  He's confessed that he's a bit jealous of my imperviousness to the cold.  Poor guy.

So, for the sake of my mental well being please send some snowy thoughts my way.  I'll know for sure what's going on by 6AM.  In the meantime, I'm going to go make some hot chocolate and stare out the window for a while, because the snow is kinda pretty.

I guess you've all been wondering where I've disappeared to.  Well, since November 18th, I've been engaged in a toe to toe battle of the bulge.  I've managed to make some headway, to date I've lost 25 pounds.  It's taken me a while and I do have to confess at being distressed from time to time.  What's worse is that for some reason dieting or, as the professionals insist on calling it, my "lifestyle change" has become all encompassing.  Everything revolves around food, as if I wasn't bloody well obsessed enough to begin with.

So, the spare time once spent crocheting, painting and creating has been eaten up with cooking foods, planning menus and bouncing up and down on a gigantic purple ball.  The purple ball is a good lark though, the cats are terrified of it.  They see me bounding away in the living room and they take off to hide under furniture.

I guess my next thing to tackle will be my time management issues, as I seem to posess none of those skills.  Have heart, as I have started slowly to work on a few things and I'm likely to post in the near future.  Don't give up on me yet!!